we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
