I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
