I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
