HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
