So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
