I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
