This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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