An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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