So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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