it wasn't lemon gatorade
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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