I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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