remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
