i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
