He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
