where does the pee come out of this thing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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