I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
