how can u be prego again
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
