Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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