don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
