yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
