Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
