Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
