dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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