How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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