They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
