You're my little dorito
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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