Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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