How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
