I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
