I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
