I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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