pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it because I queefed?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
