But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
