Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
