He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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