Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
