PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
