I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
