I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
