Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
