shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
