I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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