the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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