spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
