Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
