you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
