I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
