you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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