In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
