just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
look no pants
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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