i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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