she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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