Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I didn't shave. On purpose
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
