I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
