Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
