I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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